My Bloody Valentine 3D

More like ‘My Bloody 3-D Glasses Don’t Work’

This remake of a 1981 video nasty about a homicidal miner was one of the first films to jump on the 3-D bandwagon by shooting with Real D cameras, but don’t go expecting the same jump-out-of-your-seat experience on DVD.

At the cinema the film was viewed through new hi-tech Polarized 3-D glasses, but since 3-D set-ups for home entertainment have yet to arrive, Lionsgate have hit a snag for the DVD release of My Bloody Valentine. They’ve given us an old-style 3-D version of the film that requires you to wear the old red/green cardboard glasses (two pairs of which are included free inside each DVD).

The problem is this is the kind of 3-D that never really worked outside of a double page spread in the Beano, so if you buy or rent My Bloody Valentine thinking you’re going to see it in Real D cinema quality 3-D then you’ll be disappointed. The cardboard glasses work perhaps 15% of the time and you won’t be able to watch the film for more than ten minutes without getting a blinding headache.
Obviously seeing a backlash on the horizon, Lionsgate were at least smart enough to include the 2-D version as a flip-side. This version doesn’t have pick-axes and gun barrels jumping off the screen at your face but at least you can watch the film without fear of going cross-eyed.

The 2-D version, robbed of its 3-D gimmicks, is just your typical 80’s slasher with stupid kids from a small mining town under attack from a miner who went crazy for a reason that’s never fully explained (something about being trapped in a cave-in and killing his fellow miners to save oxygen). Walking plank of wood Jensen Ackles plays Tom, the sole survivor in the attack on his fellow teens.

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